my cousin has been writing again!
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Notes from Matt and me
"Do you want tea?" I asked with a sigh, and turned to Matt, awaiting his response, it had been a long day and we were both exhausted. "Oooh, that would be nice" he replied, running his fingers through my hair, I purred, happily. Peeling myself off his warm chest I slunk off to the kitchen, half dazed with fatigue, I turned on the light and started to fill the kettle, the cold water creating the gushing, crashing sound as it filled the empty chasm of the kettle. I looked out into the black night and thought a while, I thought of how long me and Matt had been going out, how we met that lazy summer afternoon, watching the sun go down over the rolling hills and distant trees of the undisturbed countryside. I remember how we celebrated our graduation from university, how he lifted me in the air and how we had kissed like no-one else was there, like it was just us, and time had slowed down... I smiled in blissful memory, forgetting I was filling the kettle due to my daydreaming, I remember time with him in such detail and clarity it is as if I am actually there, in his arms, as we kiss, and everything happens around us, while we remain blissfully oblivious. I put the kettle on to boil, my finger nails flick the switch with such an agile elegance. As I wait I recall more memories, the time when we went ice skating and I kept falling over while he would skate backwards, perform pirouettes and show off around me, as I strode around giggling. I sneak a look back into the living room, he shifts uncomfortably as he tries to compensate for the warm patch I had created on his chest. I should go sit with him again, I can see he wants me to, he cant sit still. He gets like that when he misses me, I smile, and stay in the kitchen. I have work to do. I take a small knife from the knife block, I do so quietly so he does not hear, and as the kettle starts to bubble, hiss and splutter I take my moment of opportunity and make a small nick beside the nail of my thumb, I make a little high pitch gasp as I the knife bites through he surface of my skin, I wince and recoil as the flesh stings and howls as it is exposed to the open air. I look back at Matt, he hasn't noticed, that's good. The kettle starts shaking with excitement and gives its satisfying click as it announces the end to its commotion, I shoot a look at it as I massage my thumb. I take the kettle by its worn handle and pour the steaming liquid into two waiting cups, I keep massaging my thumb until, at last, a tiny bead of blood raises its crimson head, I sigh with relief and use the knife to flick the drop from my thumb into Matt's mug. Without saying anything I wonder back into the living room, placing the cups onto the coffee table, and snuggle back down at Matt's side. He wraps his arms around me, and plants a kiss on top of my head. I close my eyes in pleasure, and wait. After some time, Matt raised his nose and sniffed the air, after some thought, He asked me if I had bought any new flowers recently, I pointed to the worn out daffodils on the coffee table, but he shook his head. "No, its not those, its a really sweet smell" he went on to say, I shrugged and pretend to go back to sleep. In my head, thoughts started to stir, had he smelt it? Already? Does he know what it is? But i remain silent, with my eyes half closed and my breathing shallow. Matt was still sniffing the air, pondering what this amazingly sweet smell could be, trying to find the source of which it was radiated. After some time, he nudged me so that I sat upright, my hair a mess from sleep, but he took his tea and raised it to his lips, and froze. His eyes widened, his nostrils flickered with the scent of the beverage, he looked down at it in disbelief. And dared to take the first sip, I watched him intently, from the other side of the sofa. As soon as the liquid hit his tongue, he did not stop drinking, gulping, slurping, never once pausing for breath. He finished the cup in a matter of seconds, and licked the inside out as to get the last drops of this wondrous brew. When it had all gone, he looked to me and asked if there was any more, I said no, and he then asked if I had put anything new in it, "it was just tea!" I giggled, trying to sound all innocent. He looked at his empty and unblemished cup in disappointment. My experiment had proved a success, it all made sense now. When we went ice skating, everyone was wearing at least three layers of clothing, hats, scarves and gloves, yet he was going around in jeans and a short sleeve t-shirt, and he showed no sign of being the least bit cold. He would never eat a lot, yet he was all ways the perfect bill of health, strong and tall, full of energy. He said this was down to his 'multivitamin' tablets he would take every now and again. But he never kept his tablets in their original container, just a small plastic box. When he smiled, you could see that his teeth were that little bit whiter than everyone else's, and sharper. His eyes were a vivid orange, not just hazelnut, but bright sunset orange with flecks of gold and black. His skin was all ways cold, even on the hottest of days. And when we kissed at the end of university, I was the first to pull away, because I had cut my tongue. I look at him now, and realised I would never see him in the same way again. I know it has to be me, but I wont do it now, not yet...
